One more day
that has passed into
the memories of the
people that we know and love.

One more week
that has gone by
and faded into the
shadows of the mind.

One more month
that has vanished,
disappearing into the sky
like a thousand white doves.

Yet I feel that I,
in all this time that I have known you,
have not been
all that I could have been.

As I sit and stare
at my killer concoction,
I wonder if this
is what I really want.

Maybe I should end it quick,
take the gun and shoot myself.
Or end it slowly,
with a chemical cocktail on the house.

As I sit and contemplate
all the ways that I could go,
a stray thought
wanders into my mind.

It speaks of better times,
of friends and family
that would miss me greatly
if I were to depart from life.

As I sit and stare
at my killer concoction,
I wonder if this
is what I really want.

Kill me now
I want to die
to see my life's work
fade away like a memory.

Put the gun
against my head
and pull the trigger.
End this universal dream.

Kill me now
I want to die
to leave this world
and enter the next.

Take the cap
off the bleach
and pour it down my throat
cleansing the world of my life.

Kill me now
I want to die
to become immortal
in the memories of my friends.

Fuck this world,
this prison for the mind.
It treats me like dirt
and I know that I am more than that.

Each mundane task
that is forced upon me
is like a brick
that crushes my soul,
forcing me to bend to another's will.

I yearn to be set free
to escape from these shackles,
but every action that I take
is judged harshly, unfairly
and then the chains get tighter.

Why I am treated this way,
I do not know,
but in the darkness,
there is light
and it is in this light,
that I shall find the answers.

Never before have I felt this way.
A gentle tingle within my soul.
The carelessness of a thousand words
and not a single one about me.

I wish to run, but cannot walk.
I want to feel the grass at my feet
but these straps that bind me,
keep me from roaming free.

Everyone looks, I cannot hide
My body and soul being pelted by their comments
they point and they laugh
and chant the word "Freak"

As my mind wanders
my feet do not move.
The mind that should be free,
cannot escape this prison
My Body in the Void.

I want to free my mind,
to pull the plug
and forever regret
my having existed.

I wish to cut the string,
to fall from above,
killing off any dreams
that others had for me.

I have no regrets.
This life that was laid out for me
was one that was tormented
by the hatred of the world.

The time that I have existed
has thus far been wasted,
for I have seen my life
flowing down the drain
and into the abyss.

Death is a part of life,
A part that is unavoidable,
but can be sped up
by the will to end one's existence.

I regret not having
enough time
to do all the things
that you wanted.

It was never
my being selfish
or self-centered,
but about my commitment
to others in my life.

You always forced me
to do what you wanted,
and now I realize that
You are the enemy,
the enemy in my dreams.

The things that you did
were of the utmost importance
to everyone, and
to no-one.

It was hard enough
to juggle my life
while you tried to
knock it out of my hands
and toss me your life
and expect me
to take control.

Of all the things
that you did,
You lack of respect towards others
caused everyone you knew
to turn their backs when
You needed them the most.

Your fury and your rage
brewed like your morning coffee
and flowed out of the cup,
that was your temper,
scalding those that got
into your path.

Yet, still I regret not having
enough time
to do all the things
that you wanted.